Oct. 4-6th Tour Diary, Part Two

by Andy Boyle.

The Firebird in St. Louis

St. Louis is super rad, in case anyone’s wondering. We got into the city around 3 p.m. after eating at some very folksy diner in Peoria and reading their local newspaper. Lots of death and meth in the Peoria news. So basically it’s like most cities in the Midwest.

Collin turned me on to The Flop House podcast while we made our way to St. Louis. I am now a subscriber and will probably be a lifelong fan. Check it out, if you get a chance. I made him listen to Sklarbro County, and neither of us caught most of the sports references.

“Hey, there are the Arches,” Collin said at one point. Well, there they were. I kind of forgot about that part of St. Louis. Gateway to the West, and all. I wonder if St. Louis ever got mad that, like, Denver or another western city happened.

“But we were the first Gateway to the West!” says St. Louis.

Responds Denver: “Well, dude, they built roads through the mountains, so, how much of a gateway are you really?”

We ended up spending a few hours at a nice coffee shop and using their wifi. I did a bunch of research about St. Louis — I spent most of my time on Facebook and see if anyone from high school or college lived here that I could trick into coming to the show — and then we headed to the venue.

If you’ve never been to The Firebird, you should go sometime. It’s a real nice space, mostly geared toward punk rock bands and other music. But it was a wonderful size, with a great setup.

I decided I was going to set up my laptop and try and get people’s emails for some sort of mailing list. You know, because I’m a comedy professional. I also asked what people’s favorite animal was, and to choose between pizza or burritos.

Some answers to the former: “Dolphin, [sic] doge, elephant, Dragon, Kitty Cat.” Some answers to the latter: “Pizzarritos, burritoes, Burritoz, Pizza!!!”

One of the comics on tonight’s show, Kelsey McClure showed up with amazing barbecue. It saved my life. She also brought some macaroni and cheese, corn bread, white bread and various pickled things. Again, these all saved my life, and I’m a better man for having eaten it. Thank you, Kelsey, for being amazing.

Some folks trickled into the show, including the bartender’s dad. The bartender’s dad was on a date. That was fun to see and experience. Good job, dad of bartender. Oh, also, Miller High Life was $1 for performers. Again, did I mention how awesome The Firebird is? Because it’s awesome.


The show started with Kenny Kinds getting it going, but then Kelsey and Jon Venegoni showed up in luchador masks on stage and caused great terror while he tried to do his set, as part of a bit. It was mighty enjoyable. They went up after each comic and kept the show going. Marty DeRosa ended it last night, and he slayed.

The joke times were rad and then we headed to another place to tell some jokes in a basement. Geoff Tate had done a show earlier and we basically held a 30 minute open mic in the basement, hosted by him. A lady in a leopard-print shawl did not like me at first, but later I got her to smile by asking if her grandparents founded my hometown. Some St. Louis comedians went up and we all did our tight three and it was fun.

It was, by far, the nicest bar I’ve been inside of in a few years. The amount of wine they had on the wall, and the fact almost every man was wearing a tie, made me think maybe my sweet Nike shoes would get me kicked out. Thankfully, they let me in, and I ordered Budweisers, in honor of the biggest St. Louis export, which are Budweiser shirts.

After that, we grabbed some late night food somewhere at an awesome diner that had a dungeon for a basement. I don’t know what I ordered exactly, because I just pointed to someone’s food that had lots of biscuits and gravy on things. It saved my life, too.

Now we’re eating at a Burger King — on my request — and using their free wifi before we head to perform in Urbana at The Canopy Club tonight. And then on to home!