My 2013 Comedy ‘Accomplishments’

by Andy Boyle.

Screen Shot 2013-12-31 at 12.26.08 PM

I did some stuff this year. Here it is, in listicle format or whatever

  • Number of times I performed in front of people: At least 151 (My goal was 150 for the year)
  • Number of times I’ve bombed so hard it made me want to quit: At least 10
  • Number of shows I was happy about how I did: Three
  • States I performed in: Florida, Illinois, Iowa, Minnesota, Missouri, Nebraska, Wisconsin
  • States I ate too much cheese in: Wisconsin
  • Magicians performed with: One
  • Number of times I went on tour: Two
  • Number of times I self-booked those tours: One
  • Strangers couches slept on: Four
  • Original live talk shows I helped create, produce, write and perform in: One
  • Number of people who attended seven productions of that show: 400ish
  • Original live talk shows I only wrote for: One (for six months)
  • Twitter followers gained: More than 1,000ish (like this really matters)
  • Comedy festivals I performed in: One
  • Months I ran an open mic: Nine
  • Money I raised for charity by getting drunk and making comedy videos: $3400ish
  • Writing classes taken: Three
  • Number of times I was rejected by McSweeney’s: Five


My 2014 Comedy Goals

  • Perform 200 times in front of people
  • Get booked on 20 showcases
  • Book two Midwestern tours
  • Create some sort of regular audio thing that’s not just comedians interviewing comedians
  • Create a new text-based funny online project
  • Create a weird monthly comedy show
  • Write and shoot eight sketches
  • Perform in 10 states
  • Be rejected by McSweeney’s 15 times
  • Be rejected by The New Yorker five times
  • Be rejected by other funny outlets 30 times
  • Just pitch funny written things to lots of places on a weekly basis and get used to the rejection
  • Find more ways to incorporate humor into my Real Job
  • Finally learn how to be funny