I did some stuff this year. Here it is, in listicle format or whatever

• Number of times I performed in front of people: At least 151 (My goal was 150 for the year)
• Number of times I’ve bombed so hard it made me want to quit: At least 10
• Number of shows I was happy about how I did: Three
• States I performed in: Florida, Illinois, Iowa, Minnesota, Missouri, Nebraska, Wisconsin
• States I ate too much cheese in: Wisconsin
• Magicians performed with: One
• Number of times I went on tour: Two
• Number of times I self-booked those tours: One
• Strangers couches slept on: Four
• Original live talk shows I helped create, produce, write and perform in: One
• Number of people who attended seven productions of that show: 400ish
• Original live talk shows I only wrote for: One (for six months)
• Twitter followers gained: More than 1,000ish (like this really matters)
• Comedy festivals I performed in: One
• Months I ran an open mic: Nine
• Money I raised for charity by getting drunk and making comedy videos: $3400ish
• Writing classes taken: Three
• Number of times I was rejected by McSweeney’s: Five

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My 2014 Comedy Goals

• Perform 200 times in front of people
• Get booked on 20 showcases
• Book two Midwestern tours
• Create some sort of regular audio thing that’s not just comedians interviewing comedians
• Create a new text-based funny online project
• Create a weird monthly comedy show
• Write and shoot eight sketches
• Perform in 10 states
• Be rejected by McSweeney’s 15 times
• Be rejected by The New Yorker five times
• Be rejected by other funny outlets 30 times
• Just pitch funny written things to lots of places on a weekly basis and get used to the rejection
• Find more ways to incorporate humor into my Real Job
• Finally learn how to be funny